Tribute to Kent Hovind

Lyrics:

Yeah we all know this guy,
He's a friggin' ass.
Yeah he calls himself a doctor
but he hasn't passed a science class.

But even though he says that evolution
is just a made up claim
I don't know about you
but that is fucking lame.

Yeah the Flintstones were real,
Just like the taxes he didn't steal

You're a fucktard aren't you, Kent?

And the way that he tries
to prove is made up shit, (his made up shit)
he says that science is a lie
and the Bible proves it, (the bible proves it)
But what he doesn't seem to know is that Bible,
that he's claimed to have read (It really sucks)
Has about as much facts
as Evil Dead. (I'll swallow your soul)

Yes, God is for sale.
I hope that you fucking rot in jail.

(chorus)

Kent you are the biggest ass in the world,
yes you are.
Kent you're a Dick.

Version 2

Kent Hovind: Still A Liar [Portal Parody Mirror]

Still A Liar (Soap For Two)

This was a failure.
I'm making a note here: HUGE MISTAKE.
It's hard to understate my education.
Amateur science...
I lie to the sheep because I can.
Ripping off the gullible
Even the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying
I just gotta have hope
And I pray to Jesus that
I don't drop the soap.
And the taxes get paid
And I serve another day.
But inside you know I'm
still a liar.

I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now
Even though you caught my ass and jailed me.
And put me in prison
And threw my diploma in the fire.
As it burned it hurt because I typed it all by myself!

Now these rows of cages make a beautiful line.
If I drop my soap I'll take it in the behind.
And my butthole will burn
Like the degree I didn't earn
But the sheep won't know I'm still a liar.

Go ahead and leave me.
I think i prefer to stay in jail.
Maybe you'll find someone else to cheat you.
Maybe Joel Osteen!
THAT WASN'T A JOKE, HA HA, it's true.
Anyway this soap is great.
So very slippery and moist...

Look at me still talking when there's lying to do.
When i look out there it makes me glad im not you!
And this soap will keep me clean till the year 2015
But I'll never change I'm still a liar.

And belive me i am still a liar.
I'm raping science and im still a liar.
I feel fantastic and im still a liar.
When I'm dying ill be still a liar
And when I'm dead i will be still a liar.
And when I'm burning in hell pants on fire.
Still a liar
Still a liar

Quiz Show (Bible Contradictions)

This is a video response to all those people who claim that the bible is free of contradictions

Context!!!!!!

Here are a few kernels of truth, wrapped liberally in extreme exaggeration. I know. It's pretty over the top. But so is the assertion that the bible is a holy book. That's a massive exaggeration. Most of it isn't even "pleasant".
The bible is revolting. It is sickening. It is nowhere NEAR as nice a book as what an ethical human could come up with, so why on earth does it have this reputation as having been written by the very author of love itself? It wasn't. It was written by human men - and pretty horrible men by the sounds of things.

And why is it that it only ever seems to be the ugly bits of the bible that are ever taken out of context? Why don't we ever hear christians complaining of John 3:16 being taken out of context?

Look, I know it's possible for things to be taken out of context. Creationists do it all the time, and it bugs the hell out of scientists and rationalists. Even I've been quoted out of context. Sure, it's annoying. But no context is large enough to write off some of the horrors of the bible. I mean - is September 11, for example, completely justified by recourse to a larger "context"? No, and neither are some of the horrors mentioned in the video.

The Eye of the Python

Right! Stop that! It's SILLY! Dear friends, if you're not familiar with the timeless genius of Monty Python then this one might be a bit over your head. It's an adaptation of the following classic sketch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjOSL

I got the idea for this from, unsurprisingly, reading Richard Dawkins' The Greatest Show On Earth. Particularly the chapter which deals with the enormous amount of evidence pointing to life having NOT been designed by an intelligent agency, given all the incredible design flaws that can be seen throughout all of biology. The vertebrate eye is a very good example of this, for the reasons you can hear herein.

I usually like to give detailed references where I can, but the research for this one was just a wild goose-chase around the net picking up bits of info here and there, mainly from Wikipedia. So tough, you'll have to take my word for it.

Yes, yes, its all a bit exaggerated. I am very grateful for my eyes and am in fact one of the lucky ones who cannot complain of any eye weakness of any kind.

Special Investigation - Evolution

One of the most fascinating things for me about the whole religion debate, is the quality of the arguments that come from the religious side in response to the atheist/anti-theist kickback of recent years. Quality? It's too positive a word. The quality of the arguments is dreadful.

It truly fascinates me to see these desperately bad arguments, so easily debunked and deflected, coming back at us time and time again. I dealt with one of them in a recent video called "Atheists Secretly Believe in Yahweh", and this video is a similar thing, about creationism's terrible arguments (if you can call them that).

I know next to nothing about science - really, only what I've learnt by being interested in this debate for the last few years. And what is fascinating for me, is that the anti-science (creationist) side have such amazingly bad arguments. Their arguments are rarely, if ever, any better than utterly wrong. They're either flat out wrong, or make things up, strawman style, and then when their errors are pointed out, - they NEVER admit their mistakes, and seem to go on arguing the same things. It is just too plain to see to be a mistake - it's clear that as long as theyve got a flock of believers to preach it to, they'll keep on going like this, even when they are knowingly lying.

So this is based on a debate I recently heard between Kent Hovind and a christian who accepted evolution. Hovind just bulldozed his way through, spouting things that EVEN I know are wrong, and that, I have no doubt whatsoever, he has been corrected on time after time after time.

Its also based on P.Z. Myers famous debate against Geoffrey Simmonds (early 2008) - a guy with doctoral qualifications who didnt know the scientific meaning of the word theory, and used it as a pejorative. Quite a few elements of the script came from that exchange (whales, ignorance... etc).

There are so many "arguments" or "tactics" that they use repeatedly that I just couldn't squeeze into 11 minutes.
This video also came about by me realising how easy it is to get educated about evolution. I cannot recommend Dawkins' The Greatest Show On Earth highly enough. It is full of jaw-dropping information. It is an unbelievable privelige to be alive at a time that allows us to know so much about our universe. If I believed in a god, I'd be thanking it for allowing me to be alive at such an incredible stage in history, where so many mysteries are being, or have been, solved. Only a few hundred years ago - people didnt even know what stars were! Let alone dating rocks with atomic precision. Amazing.

Creationists - get educated before you argue about these things. And when you're corrected, try to learn something. Can you imagine if Dr. Finch here refused to be corrected about Moses or Noah, and spouted the same mistakes the rest of his life, like Hovind is SURE to do once he gets out of prison?

Offensive!!!!!!!

I suggest that christians just fucking get over it when we use words like fuck, shit, fucking, fucker, and all that. Please also realise that your religious beliefs are extremely offensive to some people, too, and that your religion has caused more trouble in the world than a million people screaming CUNT at the top of their lungs all day could ever cause.